If you use a Hermès Birkin bag, you must be a real douche to pay a five digit sum for a branded item of utility which was probably made in China.
If you carry a Together Bag, which has a print of the Birkin bag on all sides, you must be a real douche for the display of self-deprecating irony, laced with an infinitesimal bitterness, which you share with everyone else who wishes they own the actual thing.