20 things women over 30 shouldn’t wear.

  1. Untested jetpack
  2. Meat tunic in feral dog country
  3. Twigs superglued to body in shape of dress
  4. High heels if you’re getting chased in a horror movie
  5. Deer costume in the woods during hunting season
  6. Shirt made of wasps
  7. Full suit of armour in the pool
  8. Fake bomb vest at airport
  9. Necklace made of human ears
  10. A sampler of endangered animal skins
  11. Cursed amulets
  12. Mohair sweater that is currently on fire
  13. Police uniform that you stole from a police officer
  14. The One Ring
  15. Anything covered in chum
  16. Fur accessories such as live pet hyenas
  17. Glitter eyeshadow that contains botfly pheromones
  18. Loafers that are actually just dead seagulls you jammed your feet into
  19. Leaky backpack full of cream of mushroom soup
  20. Booty shorts with military secrets written on butt

[Via @undeadmolly]